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The Family Law and Divorce Law Blog

Divorcing a  Narcissistic Spouse

3/21/2023

2 Comments

 
Divorce is never an easy process, but when dealing with a narcissistic spouse, it can become particularly challenging. Narcissists tend to be self-centered and lack empathy, which can make negotiations and compromises difficult. However, there are ways to navigate a divorce with a narcissistic spouse and come out on the other side.

First and foremost, it's essential to establish boundaries. Narcissists are known for being controlling and manipulative, so it's crucial to be clear about what you will and won't tolerate. This means setting boundaries around communication, negotiation, and decision-making. It may be helpful to work with a divorce attorney who has experience dealing with narcissistic personalities to ensure that your boundaries are enforceable and legally sound.

Another crucial aspect of dealing with a narcissistic spouse is understanding their behavior. Narcissists are often motivated by a need for attention, validation, and control. They may try to drag out the divorce process, refuse to compromise, or try to turn others against you. By recognizing their behavior patterns, you can better anticipate their actions and prepare accordingly.

It's also essential to prioritize self-care during this challenging time. Dealing with a narcissistic spouse can be emotionally draining, so it's essential to take care of yourself. This means engaging in activities that bring you joy, seeking support from friends and family, and considering therapy to help you process your emotions and develop coping strategies.

Finally, it's important to stay focused on your goals and objectives. Narcissists may try to distract or derail negotiations, but it's essential to keep your end goal in mind. Work with your attorney to develop a plan for negotiating and compromising, and stay firm in your convictions. Remember that you have the right to a fair settlement, and don't let your narcissistic spouse deter you from achieving it.

In conclusion, divorcing a narcissistic spouse can be a challenging and emotionally taxing process, but it is possible to come out on the other side. Establishing boundaries, understanding their behavior, prioritizing self-care, and staying focused on your goals are all key strategies for navigating a divorce with a narcissistic spouse. With the right support and approach, you can successfully navigate this difficult situation and move forward with your life.

Written By Bertus Preller
Family and Divorce Law Attorney


2 Comments
Fiona Hickman
4/3/2024 03:53:34 pm

Hi there. After 19 years of staying in an extremely abusive marriage, I filed for divorce. A year of hell and a Rule 43 affidavit later, the divorce was finalised on the 24th January 2024., My advocate Lana Bezuidenhout and attorney Hennie Lombard negotiated the divorce settlement, and it was made an order of the court. However, the hits keep on coming (as they do with a narcissist), and he has blatantly and intentionally already defied and ignored the court order on 3 counts. My attorney (who was amazing throughout the proceedings) is actually semi-retired, says I must take him to court for contempt in order to get the money that he owes me and has actually stolen from me (with the help of his attorney), but I believe the situation is now beyond him and he has advised that I look for assistance and has assured me that he will help as much as possible. Narcissism is a little understood disorder, if you don't understand it, you will be bullied, deceived, manipulated and coerced. It is not a walk in the park! Please let me know if you would be interested in discussing my situation further. Many thanks. Kind regards, Fiona Hickman 072 650 6977

Reply
Telkom University link
6/28/2024 05:38:05 am

What are effective strategies for navigating the challenges of divorcing a spouse with narcissistic traits? Regard <a href="https://sci.telkomuniversity.ac.id/news/kuliah-umum-from-idea-to-startup-navigating-the-path-to-unicorn/">Telkom University</a>

Reply



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    Bertus Preller is a Family Law and Divorce Law Attorney at Maurice Phillips Wisenberg in Cape Town.

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  • Home
  • The Firm
  • The Team
  • A Comprehensive Guide to Divorce and Family Law
  • Practice Areas
    • Expertise in South African Family Law: International Expert Opinion Services.
    • Divorce >
      • The Divorce Process in South Africa
      • South Africa Divorce Guide: Understanding Contested and Uncontested Divorces
      • Uncontested Divorce in South Africa Guide
      • Contested Divorce >
        • International Divorce
        • Financial Divorce Checklist
        • Expatriate Divorce
        • Divorcing a Missing Spouse
        • Adultery and the Law
        • Divorcing-a-Narcissist-Guide
        • Trusts and Divorce
        • Living Annuities and Divorce in South Africa: A Comprehensive Analysis
    • Child Maintenance and Spousal Support
    • Spousal Maintenance in South Africa
    • Child Maintenance: A Comprehensive Guide for Calculating and Claiming
    • Rule 43
    • Protection Orders
    • Child Law >
      • Custody of Children
      • Paternity Disputes
      • Relocation Disputes
      • Parenting Plans
      • International Child Abduction
  • Services
    • Online Legal Services >
      • Online Divorce Services
      • Printable Divorce Application Form
      • Postnuptial Contracts >
        • Antenuptial Contract Questionnaire
    • More about South African Family Law >
      • Cohabitation Disputes
      • Domestic Violence and Abuse
  • Testimonials
  • Contact
    • Atlantic Seaboard
    • Paarl
    • West Coast
  • Choosing a Divorce Attorney
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